A Day in the Life
Today has been quite a day. We have run the gambit of emotions in this house, from completely silly to complete meltdown; many times. At the end of the day, I am left thinking again about what a strange life being a stay-at-home mom is.
One of the things that I find so unique about this job, is that there is no one in this house with me as I parent. I am here by myself almost every day, and I answer only to people under the age of five. (I am relatively sure their standards of acceptable behavior are different than typical jobs require.)
Every aspect of my day is my own. The times I lost my temper, and said words I regreted even as I was saying them. No one else heard me, no one else was here to reign me in. There is no one here to spell me off, to tell me to take a break, to tell me to shape up or get out. I am responsible for stopping myself. (I walked away; called my husband, called my mom)
There is no one here to see my best moments. The times I’m exhausted, and my head hurts, and someone needs one more thing. The times I do not loose my temper. The times I choose to be silly and break the mood. The times I find just enough energy to change the dynamic. I don’t get paid, I don’t get promoted, I don’t get a review or feedback. I do get children who want to show me what they are learning, who want me to laugh with them, who want me to be a part of their world.
And then there are the thousands of silly, magical, or just ordinary moments that make up our days. No one is here to laugh at my daughter’s two-year-old logic. No one sees how cute the baby was, when he was laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe. No one saw my son give his never-been-opened crayons to his baby sister, without batting an eyelash.
So many of the funniest moments aren’t anything that can be shared, because you just have to be here. And the moments where everything just falls into places – my favorite little times of the day – are just so comfortable and beautiful because they are my family, my house, my hard work.
I love being a mom, but it is a strange, hard job.