Sharpie on the Wall
I recently told my Mother-in-Law that if I had a brand new house, I would take a Sharpie and scribble on the wall. Just a little bit, behind a dresser. Nothing noticeable, but enough that I knew the blank paint was permanently marked. And then I could go about my business of living.
As we are coming out of a couple of weeks of being stuck indoors, I am finding myself in need of that Sharpie. I am elevating my daily chores to a level that they just don’t deserve. I am worrying about my house, and the more I clean, the more I see that still needs cleaned. And I am forgetting to just be with my children. Forgetting to hear their questions, laugh with them, see how they are growing and learning every day.
I am creating emergencies where there are none. If I don’t get the breakfast dishes off the table before lunch, we will still all eat. I don’t need to yell at the child that interrupts me (again), as I’m trying to get to some little thing. This is not crucial. This is not life. Because a week from now, even I won’t remember the day that I didn’t get the floor swept. My kids certainly won’t care.
But what they will remember are the lessons that I am teaching them. I have not been living out the words I say to them daily. I have not been taking a breath before I speak. I have not been listening to the way my voice sounds. I have not been asking once, and then counting to ten before I ask again. I have not been respectful with my words. A week, a month, ten years down the road – what do I want my children to remember? That this day, I got my chore list done? Or the time that I left the dishes on the table, and danced around the living room with them?
I can choose, every day, to show my children that people are more important than the things in our lives, or I can choose to show them that we are ruled by the things around us. I have been letting my petty anxieties dictate my actions. I have been letting my schedule rule me, instead of free me.
My walls are already nicely marked up, so I don’t plan to pull out my Sharpie this week. But I have put myself on an official break from my housekeeping schedule. I am letting the dust build up a bit. I am reminding myself to take myself a little less seriously. To take my time a little more lightly. And that I will never have this day again… I can choose what I will take from it.
October 21st, 2009 at 3:20 pm
You are doing an absolutely fantastic job as a mom.
October 21st, 2009 at 7:05 pm
What a great reminder. you express this thought very well.
I unfortunately spend a lot of days with the dishes still on the table, but engrossed in my own activities while the kids entertain themselves. these are some great pictures, and I am with you in the resolve to spend more time seizing the moments with them.