Today did not start off well. I started the day feeling stuck and frantic. I don’t want to casually write like I just decided to turn things around, and everything became beautiful. I didn’t want to change the mood. I felt trapped, and I didn’t see a way through to ‘untrapped’. I wanted someone else here to be the adult. I wanted to hole up, or better yet, get all of the things that are weighing on my mind done. Dishes, laundry… raising the perfect children who are perfectly safe and perfectly behaved.
I was sure it was going to rain, but I was also sure that staying in the house was a bad move for everybody. So I loaded us all up and drove to the park, with our new sand toys from IKEA. The park has a great big volleyball court, where my sensory-seeking kiddos can get messy from head to toe. And their mama can feel the wind blowing around her, and remember how much she loves stormy weather. And start to feel a little less trapped.
April 17th, 2010 at 7:46 am
You are doing awesome with your challenge. Glad you got to squish some sand between your toes!